We all have issues .....

I haven't posted anything in a while been dealing with the sadness about a former co worker's son passing away and my own issues with my Mama. I don't want to get all woe is me but I feel like I just need to talk some issues out and maybe that will help me resolve my feelings. Ever since I moved to NC (about 6 years ago!) my mom and I have had a strained relationship. It stems from me feeling like I was abandoning her, her perpetuating that feeling with her actions and my growth since I've been out here that I feel like she can't really accept. Especially since I've had my little one I have noticed our marked divide even more. The last time she was out here for a visit it culminated in a huge fight between us because the hubs and I decided that all visits (from ANYONE) could not be more than a week due to the smallness of our place, lack of routine at the time, etc. Now she is coming out in September and initially wasn't going to stay with us at all, which of course made me feel extremely guilty! I convinced her to stay with us at least a couple of days but I feel like she's still hot over that issue and seems to be holding some sort of grudge. Couple this with the fact that we can't really talk about anything anymore because I'm afraid of hurting her feelings in some way thus receiving either the silent treatment or some other form of retaliation. Maybe I'm just too sensitive and close to this issue and need to realize that, as my husband puts it, our relationship may never be exactly what I wish it would be. It's just hard to let go of that ideal and the closeness I know we used to share but can't seem to get back.
Okay, enough griping. Other than my obsessive dissecting of my relationship with my Mom our week has been pretty great. The dance show on Saturday was so-so but a nice way to spend some time with a friend who I don't get to see so much anymore. On Monday, we took Kora to her first baseball game at the Durham Balls Athletic Park and she loved it! We have some good friends who have season tickets and got us front row seats right next to the dugout so she saw everything up close, the players were waving and flirting with her, she got Wool E Bull's autograph and just overall enjoyed herself immensely. We wanted to go because Tony Gwynn was there signing autographs and taking pictures (we saw him play in his final game back home and thought it would be cool to get Kora's pic with him) but the line was so long that we never even made it to see him. Oh well, he coaches at my littl bro's alma mater and lives in the town I grew up in so we can probably get a pic or autograph one way or another, right? Then we had our dance class on Tuesday and a playdayte with Savannah yesterday that was fun but a workout! I suggested we go to a park that I thought was much closer than it really was and the mommies got a nice workout pushing the strollers along trails and greenways for a god half hour! Poor Meredith was probably ready to kill me, I would have killed me! Today we headed to Fuquay and hit up Stick Boy for some yummy Chocolate Cherry muffin and PB&J smoothies (Yummers!) and she was so good for me all day! Tomorrow I think we'll just relax and enjoy each other's company, maybe get yogurt as an end of the week treat. No plans for the weekend yet but I'm sure we'll come up with something. Hope everyone is having a fabulous summer!