I've been bad

Okay people, or self, or hubby and one friend who actually reads the mental musings that emenate from my whacked out mind, I realize I am going to the dogs with this whole blogging thing. I was all excited and gung-ho when I started this, inspired by the blogs of fellow mommies and ready to go! Then, the summer hit, my child actually started sleepig through the night and I....... lost ........ steam..... I mean really lost steam. As in haven't posted anything for over two weeks. I am a bad blogger! Not only have I not posted anything I do not currently have a good post ready for you with pictures of my adorable toddler amidst the awesomeness of my words. Oh well, I accept my fate as a semi-blogger and promise to post something within the next month if the mood so strikes me. So, until then, go live your merry lives and talk amongst yourselves about my non-awesomeness in the world of blogs :)

We all have issues .....

I haven't posted anything in a while been dealing with the sadness about a former co worker's son passing away and my own issues with my Mama. I don't want to get all woe is me but I feel like I just need to talk some issues out and maybe that will help me resolve my feelings. Ever since I moved to NC (about 6 years ago!) my mom and I have had a strained relationship. It stems from me feeling like I was abandoning her, her perpetuating that feeling with her actions and my growth since I've been out here that I feel like she can't really accept. Especially since I've had my little one I have noticed our marked divide even more. The last time she was out here for a visit it culminated in a huge fight between us because the hubs and I decided that all visits (from ANYONE) could not be more than a week due to the smallness of our place, lack of routine at the time, etc. Now she is coming out in September and initially wasn't going to stay with us at all, which of course made me feel extremely guilty! I convinced her to stay with us at least a couple of days but I feel like she's still hot over that issue and seems to be holding some sort of grudge. Couple this with the fact that we can't really talk about anything anymore because I'm afraid of hurting her feelings in some way thus receiving either the silent treatment or some other form of retaliation. Maybe I'm just too sensitive and close to this issue and need to realize that, as my husband puts it, our relationship may never be exactly what I wish it would be. It's just hard to let go of that ideal and the closeness I know we used to share but can't seem to get back.
Okay, enough griping. Other than my obsessive dissecting of my relationship with my Mom our week has been pretty great. The dance show on Saturday was so-so but a nice way to spend some time with a friend who I don't get to see so much anymore. On Monday, we took Kora to her first baseball game at the Durham Balls Athletic Park and she loved it! We have some good friends who have season tickets and got us front row seats right next to the dugout so she saw everything up close, the players were waving and flirting with her, she got Wool E Bull's autograph and just overall enjoyed herself immensely. We wanted to go because Tony Gwynn was there signing autographs and taking pictures (we saw him play in his final game back home and thought it would be cool to get Kora's pic with him) but the line was so long that we never even made it to see him. Oh well, he coaches at my littl bro's alma mater and lives in the town I grew up in so we can probably get a pic or autograph one way or another, right? Then we had our dance class on Tuesday and a playdayte with Savannah yesterday that was fun but a workout! I suggested we go to a park that I thought was much closer than it really was and the mommies got a nice workout pushing the strollers along trails and greenways for a god half hour! Poor Meredith was probably ready to kill me, I would have killed me! Today we headed to Fuquay and hit up Stick Boy for some yummy Chocolate Cherry muffin and PB&J smoothies (Yummers!) and she was so good for me all day! Tomorrow I think we'll just relax and enjoy each other's company, maybe get yogurt as an end of the week treat. No plans for the weekend yet but I'm sure we'll come up with something. Hope everyone is having a fabulous summer!

Heavy Heart

I had every intention yesterday of writing a great review of the dance show I went to last night and raving about what a fun weekend I have had with my family, however, other things have occurred since then. I got an e-mail from my boss about a former co-worker that broke my heart. Her son died this past weekend (not sure what happened exactly) leaving behind two small sons and a mother who cannot afford to bury him because she just recently had another funeral for her own mother. My heart aches for this family, not only has this woman lost so much just in the past couple of months, but she is also a widow (she lost her husband a few years back) and is now having to deal with losing her son and mother within just a few short months of each other. I so wish I just had money laying around and could give it to her to help out but we are stretched pretty thin during the summer and can't give much more than our prayers at the moment. If anyone is reading this please keep the family in your prayers and pray that everything works out for them!

Friday, Friday.....

I ask you.... Who couldn't love this face?!



Just thought I'd put up a cute pic of Miss Kora to tide everyone over for the weekend. I'll have lots to gush about on Monday since I am attending a dance show on Saturday night (Shen Wei) that I am UBER excited about! More to come .....

Beatin' the Heat and Weight Woes

Cousin Love

This weekend we headed up to Boone to see my older brother, sis-in-law, cousins, and Papa and Granny along with getting out of this unbearable heat! Kora loved every minute of it! She spent most of her time in the upstairs play area or fawning over her cousin Carter whom she absolutely adores!
We headed up late Thursday night (and little Miss refused to sleep for like half of the 3 hour trip!) then relaxed on Friday waiting for Papa and Granny to head into town. Saturday morning everyone headed to the Farmers Market then Bass Lake (it's off the Parkway) for a leisurely stroll while the fellas fished. *Side Note - For those who don't know us my hubby is sort of OBSESSED with fly-fishing and no trip ANYWHERE is complete without some sort of fishing or fishing related outing tied in* On Sunday Mommy went "shopping" in the basement and came away with a bag of "new" clothes and shoes for Kora to grow into, YAY! New Elmo slippers


We headed home around nap-time on Sunday afternoon and just relaxed around the house until Kora's bedtime.
Today Kora had her 18 month appointment and I have both been looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. Since she has transitioned over to more solid foods her weight has been on the lower end and the doctor has been a little concerned. At her 15 month he said we would till today and then decide what to do. So this morning when they weighed her her weight is still lower than they want (19lbs) and he wants me to put her on PediaSure once a day. I wanted to cry! The good thing was that we had a dance class with friends immediately after the appointment and both their girls are small as well so they were able to calm my fears a little and make me feel better. Basically they feel she looks fine, their girls are not that much bigger and one suggested trying the PediaSure to see if she'll like it and if she doesn't not to worry too much about it. I mean she's petite but I was as a baby too so I guess I shouldn't really worry too much. Hopefully with her finally getting her teeth in she'll pick up on the eating and gain some weight so I can stop worrying!

Tuesday Morning Dance Classes

Okay, I realize that (1) it is no longer Tuesday morning and (2) I may go a little overboard with the whole dance thing in general but I swear she loves every minute of it! For the summer we have been getting together on Tuesday mornings to do a creative movement class that generally lasts around 40 minutes and involves everything from marching around to hitting rhythm sticks, playing with a parachute, and tumbling (which is pretty much me "helping" them do a somersault). Occasionally we throw in a little game of Ring Around the Rosie or London Bridge and always start with a rousing round of Wheels on the Bus but the girls mainly love running around in their dance clothes and getting stickers at the end! Here are some pics from our latest class and a shamelessly exploitative video of me urging my child to show you her "pretty turn". You will be here someday too, just wait!

I am Blessed .....

with this darling little face that I can smoosh and kiss and grab whenever the feeling takes hold of me. We had some friends over for dinner last night that have been struggling with conceiving and I was reminded, in talking with B, of just how blessed I am to be healthy and able to conceive without any "extras". Granted, she has a lot of other factors affecting her fertility, a plethora of medications and diabetes to name a few, but I still feel so blessed to have my child. My heart aches for them when she says that it has gotten to the point where she just expects her period at the end of every month rather than set herself up for being disappointed when it appears. If anyone deserves motherhood it is this woman! She is fabulous with children, has worked with them all her life and they are trying so hard. Then, to add injury to insult, she works in a high school where there are a ton of teenage girls getting pregnant by accident and she has to see this every day! There was some bright spots in our conversation, B said they are not putting a lot of pressure on themselves anymore and if it comes down to her health she'll just love on other people's kids. Plus she has been able to be a fabulous aunt to her own nieces and nephews and her husband and her can take last-minute camping trips, etc. I may miss some of those things but I am so glad to have Kora in our lives and I hope that B and L will one day be able to experience all the joy and pain that parenthood entails for themselves.

Happy 9th!

Kora smelling the flowers at the Tobacco Campus
Kora and I getting ready for the parade



So it's a little late but I wanted to share the fun we had during our 4th of July weekend. It all started with a trip to Bond Park for Kora's first parade. It was really more like a mini-parade but still fun; we got to decorate our bikes and her trailer then join some other kiddos in (pretty much walking) about 1/4 mile. Kora loved every minute of it, from the singing performance to waving at adoring onlookers. The fun continued with her first dance show that afternoon. The American Dance Festival is in town and has these awesome children's matinees that several performing groups are offering and are geared especially for the kiddos. As soon as I found out about them the hubby and I conferred and bought tickets to see Pilobulus. If you have never seen them before they are awesome! We did take the camera, in hopes that the members would come out afterwards and I could possibly get some pics of her with them, but that didn't quite pan out. Instead we hung out for a little bit outside of the theater, listening to the music, then headed over to the Tobacco District where we ate at a yummy restaurant called Cuban Revolution. (This was a REALLY big deal because normally the hubs doesn't like to stray too far from his "favorites", i.e. pizza, burgers, etc. We wrapped up the weekend with a relaxing BBQ at a friends house where Kora had a blast playing in the kiddy pool and eating all kinds of yummy food. The girl pretty much inhaled 3 barbecue chicken legs much to my astonishment! I forgot the camera for this so don't have any pics of the fun but rest assured we had a blast!

Pre-potty training and Ode to cloth diapers

In honor of BumGenius launching their new 4.0s I wanted to talk about cloth diapering and how much I LOVE it!!! I didn't start out with the BumGenuis, as they are a rather expensive diaper, but I can't imagine my life without them now. Here is my cloth diapering story with Kora.

I decided when I was pregnant that I wanted to use cloth diapers and did a lot of research via the internet and speaking with friends who had cloth diapered before deciding what I was going to use. I had some other issues when we first came home so we didn't officially start the CD'ing until Kora was around 2-3 months old. Even then, we didn't have much money so I started out with prefolds (think the type of cloth diapers you use for burp cloths) and waterproof covers. We used those for about a month or so until I found someone selling used BumGenuis on Craigslist for a steal and was able to get to them before the hordes of other people could! From that moment on it has been L-O-V-E. I do also have a few Kushies (all in ones that can be bought off WalMart's site) that my little bro had given me when she was born that I use as back-ups but they definitely can't hold a candle to my BG's. I also have another pocket diaper I found later called SmartiPants that are very similar to the BG's but have snaps and openings in both the front and back of the diaper for the inserts. In all my CDing experience has been an awesome one and I am definitely a proponent for them. (Just ask my husband who laughs everytime he hears me talking to a new mom or mom-to-be and offering to show my diapers!) While we're on the subject of when she was little there is an awesome group in the Raleigh area available for breastfeeding mommies called Nursing Mothers of Raleigh. The issues we had that prevented immediate CDing were with breast feeding and the support my husband and I got from the members of this group was overwhelmingly helpful in every possible way. So, if you know anyone who is a new mom (struggling or not) and breastfeeding please refer them to this group.

On to the Pre-Potty training. We're not really trying to potty-train Miss Kora, as she is NOT ready for it, but I am having her sit on her potty occasionally so she can get used to it and know what it's for, etc. So far, she's peed in front of it twice, peed in it once (purely by accident I'm convinced)and pooped in other areas of the house twice. Oh, the joy we have to look forward to when we officially start! Wish us luck!

Just us girls....

This the second weekend in under a month that Kora and I have been left to our own devices by Daddy. Granted, the first time he was gone for his grandmother's funeral so that couldn't be helped, but this time he is on a fishing trip the whole weekend and.....

While the cat's away, the mice will play!

And play we have. Kevin officially left Thursday night so Kora had to go to dance with Mommy yet again and spend two hours playing her little heart out with the sweet girls who help me watch her there. She was so cute with them and gave each one hugs before heading home and to bed. Friday she slept till about 5:30, then went back to sleep until around 7:30. I was thinking about heading up to Boone since my bro is out of town but wasn't sure how much money Kev would be spending on his trip so decided against it. Instead we walked over to Trader Joes so Mommy could stock up on her current vice, chocolate chip scones!!! Then we walked over to a little shoe store that is going out of business and bought a really cute pair of Pedipeds (who knew they were pronounce Pee-di-Peeds?!) for about half the price. We also visited a used bookstore but I was able to restrain myself and made it out of there with nothing but plans to return! By the time we made it home I was dripping sweat and little Miss got to go in the neighbor's inflatable pool with Eben while I watched. Later in the day we headed over to Wally World for some basics and had a relaxing evening at home. This morning we hit up two Farmer's Markets, which were both really small but still fun, in Cary and Apex. Then we headed over to the Mall for the rest of the morning so Mommy could buy a new swimsuit top and continue her search for a "fun" white tank top. I have officially given up on that search, by the by. I don't think what is in mind exists and I am so tired of looking!

This week we also were able to reconnect with some "old" friends who we met last summer and weren't really able to see during the school year. Savannah is just a couple weeks older than Kora and so cute! We met up Thursday morning for some coffee and story time at Barnes and Noble and the girls had a lot of fun playing and running around together. I'm glad I was able to reconnect with Meredith, she's almost as crazy about worrying as I am and makes me feel not so bad for all the worrying I do! I'm looking forward to more playdaytes with her and Savannah and I know Miss Kora is as well! Oh, I almost forgot to mention that we also had our first creative movement class this week (taught by yours truly) and the girls did so well, they went for about 40 minutes! I didn't get any pics as I was teaching but I will try to get some next week and post them.

P.S. The pic included in this post is just a fun summer pic from a playdayte at a friend's a few weeks ago

P.P.S. Did I mention that while shopping today my child threw a deodarant (granted I was purchasing it) on the floor and broke the cap! The nice salesperson said I could get a new one and that one would be donated to a woman's shelter. So at least some good came out of it, right?!

Thank Goodness for paccy clips!

Who would have thought that my life would come down to being thankful for a small strip of fabric that keeps a pacifier hooked to my child like an umbilical cord?! This miracle holder can be credited for many things in my house, one of which includes my child FINALLY sleeping through the night! Now, we've also not been going when she cries but I truly think that clipping the pacifier to her, so she can't throw it out of the crib when she gets mad, has helped. Plus, it helps in the car and oh so many other places I can't even begin to name right now. This particular one seems to work better than others as it is a little longer so I can clip it to her lower down and not worry so much about it getting wrapped around her neck! Because, natural worrier that I am, you know that has entered my mind several times! The rest of this post is dedicated to our past couple days alone together. Kevin had to go back to SD for his grandmother's funeral this weekend so Kora and I have been flying solo since early Thursday morning and the girl has been FABULOUS for me! Absolutely fabulous! Sure, she's had her melt-down moments but for the most part she has listened, been patient while I run a ton of errands and make her get in and out of the car constantly (no small feat when your car seat is still rear-facing and there are overhead tether straps involved), endured long meetings in places with pretty much no toys and meals on the go. We're used to being alone during the day so that hasn't phased me too much but I must admit when I put her to bed at 6:00 I start feeling a little lonesome and wish for some adult company. Kevin will be back Monday morning and probably by Friday I'll be wishing him away again so I'm counting my blessings for a sweet girl, who has been giving her Mommy constant hugs and kisses, and an absent husband who is making my heart grow fonder as I type :)

Summer is HERE!

So, Friday was my last official day of school and then we had a fun Memorial Day weekend planned up in Boone at my brother's house. (The pic above is Kora with her Aunt Amy at their house in Boone) I still had dance on Saturday morning so Kora and Daddy headed out to North Hills and checked out the Farmers Market while waiting for that to finish. Then they got some yummy Panda Express for lunch and we loaded up my car for the 3 hour drive. Kora did pretty well on the drive and was very happy to see her cousins when we finally got there! She spent the next 2 days enjoying herself playing with all their toys, squealing at Carter whenever he was in sight and just being her usually silly self. Mommy got a gift card to the Mast General Store for her birthday and found a nice shirt for herself but also couldn't resist an adorable onesie with a skunk on it that says Little Stinker. Perfect for our little stinker. This morning was so nice at home. Kora slep till about 7:30 then we just hung out for a little while before getting dressed and heading over to the mall to spend the generous gift card that Mommy's class gave her at the end of the year. I found some cute clothes at Charlotte Russe after getting much too overwhelmed in Forever 21! We ended the morning with a yummy food court lunch and headed home for a nice afternoon nap. Kora is currently down for the count and I'm on my way there! I'm looking forward to a relaxing summer with my girl and trying out story time at the library tomorrow with my crazy toddler! Wish me luck!

Looking forward to summer!

So, all the dance craziness has finally subsided and the school year is winding to an end (only a week and a half left!). I'm very much looking forward to the "break" that summer will afford me but also a little afraid of Kora getting bored and am trying to plan different things to do with her during the day. So far, I have a creative movement class on Tuesday mornings; that apparently I'll be teaching!; and am planning on taking her to the library once a week as well. I also have a fellow mommy friend who I semi lost touch with during the school year and I'm looking forward to reconnecting with her and her daughter during our summer break. Kora is getting more and more fun with each passing day as well as more and more challenging. She talks a lot, mostly babbling but she does say ice, thank you, please, all done, mommy, daddy, papa, kitty, woof, chickadee, and up to name a few. She likes to imitate me (if she's in the mood) and the other day she was playing with a sound toy and was imitating the animal noises ( I heard her doing cow and elephant). She definitely has a mind of her own and has no problem letting us know when she doesn't like something. We're having a problem with her throwing her food and I'm currently trying to figure out exactly how to deal with that while still letting her eat! She finally seems to be well, knock on wood, and the only thing bothering her lately seems to be her teeth. Next week, for the last days of school, they will be having water days so I am looking forward to seeing her in her cute new bathing suit and getting some cute pics to post. We also have taken some good videos of her lately that I will put up in the next couple of days. Till then......

If my head wasn't attached to my body....

So you ever have one of those days? It seems like it's been happening to me more and more lately. I keep misplacing things left and right and I feel, literally, like I'm losing my mind! I lost my wallet in the library because it fell out of my bag, look frantically for my keys when they are in my hand, run around trying to find Kora's shoes when they're on her feet, etc. Today, Kora and I went to Wal-Mart to try and find dryer vents and I hear my name being announced over the loudspeaker. I looked in the diaper bag as I'm heading up to Customer Service and realize my wallet is gone! The lady who had kindly brought it in said it was in the parking lot! I swear to God I have no clue how it fell out of the bag but luckily some kind stranger picked it up and brought it in intact! Then, on top of all this, I've been feeling very "feisty" lately and the hubby and I have been bickering over the silliest of things, who got up the most during the night, really?! We all know who wins that one! I feel like we really need a date night but just don't know how we can do it. I also feel like we need a vacation with just our family unit; i.e. not to my brother's or dad's house but it's so convenient and nice to just hop over to either one of those for a weekend or a couple of days. Not to mention free lodging and yummy meals are always included. I mean you couldn't ask for a better deal really but I really would like to get away with just the three of us somewhere to relax and soon before my head explodes! I think the pressure of the dance shows, end of the year with school, and all that entails is starting to really get to me and I need to just take a breath and be thankful for what I have. Guess now might be a good time to finally use the massage gift certificate I was given close to two years ago, huh? Well, that's my venting for now, smell dinner burning......

A second Post!!!

Okay, so it seems I'm off to a somewhat good start although I don't want to jinx myself. But hey, I'm actually writing a second post people (or should I say self?) so this should count for something. I had a fairly busy weekend with the hubby gone fishing all day Saturday so baby girl had to accompany me to the 2 dance classes that I teach on Saturday morning, then home for a break, and back again for an hour rehearsal later that afternoon. She did really great and actually seemed to enjoy hanging out and watching the dances so I was happy with the end results. Kevin actually got home from fishing at a decent time and I was able to fully deck myself out for my night at the THEATRE (cue British acting voice) with Stacey to see Wicked! This show kicked butt! I LOVED it from beginning to end. If you've never been to a show with me know that I am an edge of the seat kind of viewer and I was there the entire night. I am so glad I had the opportunity to see it and spend some quality time with Stacey as well. Mother's Day was okay, not too much different from any other day except I got a rose from the waiter at lunch and we hung out at Stacey's for an early birthday party for her youngest. Today was a staff lunch at work so I got to eat at a new place in downtown Raleigh that was good and had a free lunch as part of the deal! Kora finally seems like she's getting better (no more congestion, coughing, fevers, ear infections - knock on wood!) and has been great for me the past couple of days. Unfortunately one of her little friends got a nasty bug on Mother's Day and ended up throwing up the whole day but, so far, we're out of the wood with that. The end of this week culminates 2 months worth of rehearsals for my dance classes in Apex and I am looking forward to the madness finally coming to an end! Then, just a few more weeks, and school will be out, my class will be graduating and Kora and I will have the whole summer stretched out before us. I'm a little nervous about us getting stir-crazy but have been trying to plan things to do to get out of the house so hopefully that will help. Probably won't post again until next Monday when all the dance craziness has died down, till then......

And so it begins.....

I have recently been inspired by the blogging of friends and friends of friends so....Drumroll please, I've decided that I am going to undertake becoming a blogger myself! As of right now the only person (other than myself) who knows of this is my husband and he is currently mad that I am not using our family blog and wanted to set up my own. However, I think the process of having to set up my own will actually force me to visit it regularly and hopefully continue adding to the postings rather than just glacning occasionally to see if either of our mothers have commented on the post we put up a month ago! So here we go peeps, or should I say self? Hopefully I will actually persevere with this project and some other soul will take pity on me and occasionally read my ramblings, until then, let me begin at the beginning.
As my profile states I am a native California girl (think the Beach Boys song people except I have brown hair and hazel eyes but whatever) who has been transplanted to the heart of the south about 5 or so years ago. Initially I woke up every morning wondering what the hell I had done to myself and longing to return "home". That feeling has slowly been changing over the past year since the addition of our adorable daughter to our family, the purchase of our first home, and me making some good "mommy" friends. Now, I occasionally yearn for the crash of the waves on Carlsbad beach, "real" Mexican food from any Alberto's type location, and the comfort of old friends but have come to the realization that NC is the best place for us at the moment. For starters, the friends we have made out here are some of the best people on this earth, they jump at the chance to help out and always ready to lend an ear when I need it. Secondly, we own a home out here. Now, this may not seem like such a big deal to some of you but we both know (Kevin and I) that if we were back in San Diego this would NOT be a reality. Not to mention my job, the one that I love and allows me all the extra time with Kora I wouldn't trade for the world, would not work for us out there. We would both be working out butts off at full-time jobs, paying for child care, never seeing our child, and still not able to own a home! So,needless to say, this is a huge blessing to us and has made us realize how lucky we are to be out here right now. Oh sure, initially there was a lot of culture shock, I mean how hard is it to call someone back about a job within a week?! But, we've slowly gotten used to the slower pace of things here and have even begun to love it. I know I adore where we live now, though we are hoping to move into a bigger place soon! It does help that we have Trader Joes withink walking distance and can get some of the staples from home that we so miss but Cary in general is just such a great place to live when you have kids. We have great greenways, parks, libraries, and shopping all within walking distance to a couple minutes drive away. Not to mention a great hospital where our lovely Kora was born. So, to wrap up this long winded post, Cary is our home now and we wouldn't trade it for the best beach apartment in San Diego (okay maybe for a vacation!).