I've been bad

Okay people, or self, or hubby and one friend who actually reads the mental musings that emenate from my whacked out mind, I realize I am going to the dogs with this whole blogging thing. I was all excited and gung-ho when I started this, inspired by the blogs of fellow mommies and ready to go! Then, the summer hit, my child actually started sleepig through the night and I....... lost ........ steam..... I mean really lost steam. As in haven't posted anything for over two weeks. I am a bad blogger! Not only have I not posted anything I do not currently have a good post ready for you with pictures of my adorable toddler amidst the awesomeness of my words. Oh well, I accept my fate as a semi-blogger and promise to post something within the next month if the mood so strikes me. So, until then, go live your merry lives and talk amongst yourselves about my non-awesomeness in the world of blogs :)

We all have issues .....

I haven't posted anything in a while been dealing with the sadness about a former co worker's son passing away and my own issues with my Mama. I don't want to get all woe is me but I feel like I just need to talk some issues out and maybe that will help me resolve my feelings. Ever since I moved to NC (about 6 years ago!) my mom and I have had a strained relationship. It stems from me feeling like I was abandoning her, her perpetuating that feeling with her actions and my growth since I've been out here that I feel like she can't really accept. Especially since I've had my little one I have noticed our marked divide even more. The last time she was out here for a visit it culminated in a huge fight between us because the hubs and I decided that all visits (from ANYONE) could not be more than a week due to the smallness of our place, lack of routine at the time, etc. Now she is coming out in September and initially wasn't going to stay with us at all, which of course made me feel extremely guilty! I convinced her to stay with us at least a couple of days but I feel like she's still hot over that issue and seems to be holding some sort of grudge. Couple this with the fact that we can't really talk about anything anymore because I'm afraid of hurting her feelings in some way thus receiving either the silent treatment or some other form of retaliation. Maybe I'm just too sensitive and close to this issue and need to realize that, as my husband puts it, our relationship may never be exactly what I wish it would be. It's just hard to let go of that ideal and the closeness I know we used to share but can't seem to get back.
Okay, enough griping. Other than my obsessive dissecting of my relationship with my Mom our week has been pretty great. The dance show on Saturday was so-so but a nice way to spend some time with a friend who I don't get to see so much anymore. On Monday, we took Kora to her first baseball game at the Durham Balls Athletic Park and she loved it! We have some good friends who have season tickets and got us front row seats right next to the dugout so she saw everything up close, the players were waving and flirting with her, she got Wool E Bull's autograph and just overall enjoyed herself immensely. We wanted to go because Tony Gwynn was there signing autographs and taking pictures (we saw him play in his final game back home and thought it would be cool to get Kora's pic with him) but the line was so long that we never even made it to see him. Oh well, he coaches at my littl bro's alma mater and lives in the town I grew up in so we can probably get a pic or autograph one way or another, right? Then we had our dance class on Tuesday and a playdayte with Savannah yesterday that was fun but a workout! I suggested we go to a park that I thought was much closer than it really was and the mommies got a nice workout pushing the strollers along trails and greenways for a god half hour! Poor Meredith was probably ready to kill me, I would have killed me! Today we headed to Fuquay and hit up Stick Boy for some yummy Chocolate Cherry muffin and PB&J smoothies (Yummers!) and she was so good for me all day! Tomorrow I think we'll just relax and enjoy each other's company, maybe get yogurt as an end of the week treat. No plans for the weekend yet but I'm sure we'll come up with something. Hope everyone is having a fabulous summer!

Heavy Heart

I had every intention yesterday of writing a great review of the dance show I went to last night and raving about what a fun weekend I have had with my family, however, other things have occurred since then. I got an e-mail from my boss about a former co-worker that broke my heart. Her son died this past weekend (not sure what happened exactly) leaving behind two small sons and a mother who cannot afford to bury him because she just recently had another funeral for her own mother. My heart aches for this family, not only has this woman lost so much just in the past couple of months, but she is also a widow (she lost her husband a few years back) and is now having to deal with losing her son and mother within just a few short months of each other. I so wish I just had money laying around and could give it to her to help out but we are stretched pretty thin during the summer and can't give much more than our prayers at the moment. If anyone is reading this please keep the family in your prayers and pray that everything works out for them!

Friday, Friday.....

I ask you.... Who couldn't love this face?!



Just thought I'd put up a cute pic of Miss Kora to tide everyone over for the weekend. I'll have lots to gush about on Monday since I am attending a dance show on Saturday night (Shen Wei) that I am UBER excited about! More to come .....

Beatin' the Heat and Weight Woes

Cousin Love

This weekend we headed up to Boone to see my older brother, sis-in-law, cousins, and Papa and Granny along with getting out of this unbearable heat! Kora loved every minute of it! She spent most of her time in the upstairs play area or fawning over her cousin Carter whom she absolutely adores!
We headed up late Thursday night (and little Miss refused to sleep for like half of the 3 hour trip!) then relaxed on Friday waiting for Papa and Granny to head into town. Saturday morning everyone headed to the Farmers Market then Bass Lake (it's off the Parkway) for a leisurely stroll while the fellas fished. *Side Note - For those who don't know us my hubby is sort of OBSESSED with fly-fishing and no trip ANYWHERE is complete without some sort of fishing or fishing related outing tied in* On Sunday Mommy went "shopping" in the basement and came away with a bag of "new" clothes and shoes for Kora to grow into, YAY! New Elmo slippers


We headed home around nap-time on Sunday afternoon and just relaxed around the house until Kora's bedtime.
Today Kora had her 18 month appointment and I have both been looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. Since she has transitioned over to more solid foods her weight has been on the lower end and the doctor has been a little concerned. At her 15 month he said we would till today and then decide what to do. So this morning when they weighed her her weight is still lower than they want (19lbs) and he wants me to put her on PediaSure once a day. I wanted to cry! The good thing was that we had a dance class with friends immediately after the appointment and both their girls are small as well so they were able to calm my fears a little and make me feel better. Basically they feel she looks fine, their girls are not that much bigger and one suggested trying the PediaSure to see if she'll like it and if she doesn't not to worry too much about it. I mean she's petite but I was as a baby too so I guess I shouldn't really worry too much. Hopefully with her finally getting her teeth in she'll pick up on the eating and gain some weight so I can stop worrying!

Tuesday Morning Dance Classes

Okay, I realize that (1) it is no longer Tuesday morning and (2) I may go a little overboard with the whole dance thing in general but I swear she loves every minute of it! For the summer we have been getting together on Tuesday mornings to do a creative movement class that generally lasts around 40 minutes and involves everything from marching around to hitting rhythm sticks, playing with a parachute, and tumbling (which is pretty much me "helping" them do a somersault). Occasionally we throw in a little game of Ring Around the Rosie or London Bridge and always start with a rousing round of Wheels on the Bus but the girls mainly love running around in their dance clothes and getting stickers at the end! Here are some pics from our latest class and a shamelessly exploitative video of me urging my child to show you her "pretty turn". You will be here someday too, just wait!

I am Blessed .....

with this darling little face that I can smoosh and kiss and grab whenever the feeling takes hold of me. We had some friends over for dinner last night that have been struggling with conceiving and I was reminded, in talking with B, of just how blessed I am to be healthy and able to conceive without any "extras". Granted, she has a lot of other factors affecting her fertility, a plethora of medications and diabetes to name a few, but I still feel so blessed to have my child. My heart aches for them when she says that it has gotten to the point where she just expects her period at the end of every month rather than set herself up for being disappointed when it appears. If anyone deserves motherhood it is this woman! She is fabulous with children, has worked with them all her life and they are trying so hard. Then, to add injury to insult, she works in a high school where there are a ton of teenage girls getting pregnant by accident and she has to see this every day! There was some bright spots in our conversation, B said they are not putting a lot of pressure on themselves anymore and if it comes down to her health she'll just love on other people's kids. Plus she has been able to be a fabulous aunt to her own nieces and nephews and her husband and her can take last-minute camping trips, etc. I may miss some of those things but I am so glad to have Kora in our lives and I hope that B and L will one day be able to experience all the joy and pain that parenthood entails for themselves.